I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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