I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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