do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
