At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
