oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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