How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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