all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
