So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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