i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
