i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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