Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
bring money and cleavage
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize