she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
