Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
