biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
