Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
