She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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