You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
