with your own penis?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Randomize