the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
