Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
