so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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