Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
