i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
