oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
