at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
