Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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