i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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