Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Randomize
