she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
