I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
