my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Randomize
