Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
