Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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