Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
