Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
