its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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