I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize