thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
