My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I wannas sexs uuuuu
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
