I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
