Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Send help, water and tortillas.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Randomize
