If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
