Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
