3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
