trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I love you. Go after that dick
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