Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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