Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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