Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i can't believe i had my finger in that
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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