I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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