living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
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