Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
