I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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