At least make sure they are 18
Why
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
