I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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