Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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