Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
