just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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