You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
