I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
