i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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