i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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