I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
