I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
