So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
